Fears

Yesterday morning we discovered that we've been robbed. I was too naive to keep the terrace door unlocked (it's closed but unlocked), thinking that nobody would dare try to enter our house through the terrace. Imagine, our second floor is 12-feet high from the ground and yung harang ng terrace is about 3 feet high. Besides, people ramdomly pass by the streets so I thought no one would dare climb that high coz it would have been easy for passersby to notice them. Anyway, several valuable items were stolen...a cheap dvd player (with orig starwars III dvd in it), 12" acer laptop (na sira ang lcd but working), Paul's lumix cam. a pellet gun, cardreader, several SDs, Yuan's remote control truck, and Yuro's newly opened can of milk (wala talagang patawad!). It was weakening to discover that much was stolen but I was thankful that we're all safe.
Early this morning, Yuan woke me up with teary eyes saying "Mommy nilalamig po ako". My first reaction was to check if he has fever, fortunately he has none. So I just covered him with blanket and hugged him for a while. When I thought he was already sleeping, I went back to my side of the bed but still watched him as he sleep. I noticed he wasn't really asleep yet. He opened his eyes and saw me smiling at him, he then closed them again. After a while he opened his eyes again so I felt he really couldn't sleep. So I asked him "Kuya, may masakit ba?" and he answered "wala po". I continued the conversation by saying "Bakit nung ginising mo ko kanina umiiyak ka?" Then he went near me and said, "Mommy natatakot po ako." So I asked him, "Saan ka natatakot? Nagdream ka ba?". And he said, "Mommy bakit kinuha ng bad guy yung player?" The moment he said this, I was teary eyed myself. I didn't think that the robbery would have such impact on him. To be perfectly honest, I am scared too. Scared that these robbers would have the courage to break into our house again and hurt us. Although nothing that bad has happened in our neighborhood, I really cannot be sure these days. Anyway, holding back my tears I answered Yuan "Meron talagang mga ganong tao anak. Kumukuha sila ng mga gamit na hindi naman sa kanila. Pero hindi tama iyon. Kasi pinaghihirapan yun ni Daddy tapos kukunin lang nila. Hwag kang matakot, player lang naman yun eh, pwede tayong bumili uli. Ang importante nandito tayong lahat at hinding hindi ko kayo ibibigay sa bad guy."
"Mommy, natatakot ako kasi masakit ipin ko, Di ba pag sumakit uli bubunutin na?" (This is the third time that he experienced tootache)
"Opo, kailangan na yang bunutin. Hwag kang matakot, pag bubunutin, nandun lang si Mommy, babantayan kita"
I woke up Paul and asked him to buy Ponstan for kids and paracetamol as well. I told Paul " Daddy, palock na lang ng pinto pag-alis mo. "
Then Yuan asked me "Mommy, saan dumaan yung bad guy?"
I answered "sa terrace po"
Yuan: "nalock mo na?"
Me: "Opo. Natatakot ka pa ba?"
Yuan: "Hindi na po."
Me: Sige, antay lang natin si Daddy para makainom ka ng gamot para mawala na sakit ng ipin mo then after school, punta tayo sa dentist.
He was able to sleep right after he has taken Ponstan.

Days-cipline

One of my biggest challenges nowadays is imposing discipline to Yuan, my 5-year old son. Lately, he's getting hooked into playing Counter Strike that he spell the word "connect" without difficulty and minsan pag pina-spell mo sa kanya yun lalagyan pa ng 1 sa dulo, when you ask why, he'll answer " Connect 1! pwede rin connect 2 or connect 3!"
Yuan is not really difficult to deal with, in fact he's a very obedient boy except in writing and eating and lately, asking him to do those is getting more and more tricky.

I've decided to try a different approach. Since they're studying days of the week in school, I told him that Sunday-Monday are mommy's days, meaning "ako ang masusunod" and Saturday will be his day, meaning siya ang masusunod and kapag hindi niya ako sinunod, mawawalan siya ng day niya. and since monday, he's been asking every single morning what day it is.

Last night while having our late night talk...me,Paul and Yuan, I told him "wow Kuya, malapit na ang day mo, 3 tulog na lang. Ano gagawin mo sa day mo? He said "no writing, no reading, no eating" Of course, Paul had to bat in, "No Kuya, hindi pwedeng walang eating" and I said "oo nga, mawawalan ka ng energy, hindi ka makakaplay" He said, "okay. Watch and play lang" Joking, I said "O sige, watch and play ka lang ha, kami ni Daddy pupunta sa mall. He said "hindi, walang mall, pag hindi ka nagsunod mommy, wala ka nang day. "

Hahaha! I got a dose of my own medicine. Ang mga bata nga naman ngayon..clever!

The Interview With God

I got this from a friend (Thanks Irien!)…

A beautiful presentation is available here

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.
“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered…
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money…
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked…
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them.
All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show
their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything
else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here… always.”

-author unknown

Ang Ganda Ko!

Wow! It's been a while since I've posted something here. Almost one year na pala! I guess I've just been busy with pregnancy and then giving birth and then taking care of my now 4-month old baby.

Hmmm, you might be wondering what's new in my life that prompted me to be here again.

Well, wala naman gaano....
Kasi kaninang umaga, habang tinutulungan ko si Yuan na maligo, bigla na lang...

Yuan: Mommy....
Me : Yes?...
Yuan: Ang ganda mo.

He said it in a tone na hindi sheepish, hindi excited, hindi patanong and walang ibang kasunod na salita, na parang wala lang, para lang siyang nagkwekwento. So it came as a nice surprise to me to hear such a compliment from my son lalo na't wala namang special na dahilan, hindi naman kami nag-away, hindi naman ako malungkot, and routine na naman namin na paliguan ko siya, it was just an ordinary time of the day.

So I said "Thank you" and then trying to fish for more specific compliments I asked:
"Bakit mo naman nasabing maganda ako?" (syempre all smiles na ko niyan)
And he said, "Eh maganda ka eh"
And that's it, end of topic.
Hindi ko na pinush yung question ko, tinanggap ko na lang na maganda ako! hahaha! baka makulitan sa akin, magbago pa siya ng isip eh! hehe
Pero to those of you who have heard the way Yuan speaks, you would agree that those simple sentences sounded really, really sweet! :)
And to my fellow moms, you know how heavenly it feels to receive compliments from our children.

So yun lang... on the first day of February 2008, my 5-year old son told me na maganda ako, and I believed him...because children don't lie!!! hehehe,joke!

Seriously, I believed him, not because I find myself pretty but because what my family thinks of me is what really matters to me. :)

Eleven Minutes

..a novel by Paulo Coelho. I love his bestselling novel "The Alchemist" but after reading "By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept" I felt that the author's style may be too serious and spiritual for my liking. Then I came upon this book, Eleven Minutes. Upon reading the synopsis at the back of the book displayed in NBS, I was interested in reading it. But apprehensive that it will end up as a disappointment like "By the River..", I decided to look for an e-book first. I found and bought one from ebay and after reading it, I bought the paperback. At the back of the book, a review says "One of the best books the author has written." In my case, it's one of the best books I've ever read...

As the author has mentioned in his dedication, the book "dealt with a subject that was harsh, difficult, shocking." I guess that's what caught my interest when I read the synopsis, I was intrigue that the author of something as "spiritual" as "By the River.." could actually touch on the topic of sex. He also said that "some books make us dream while others bring us face to face with reality"; For me, Eleven Minutes accomplished both.

Here are some of my favorite lines from the book:

• I've realized that sometimes you get no second chance and that it's best to accept the gifts the world offers you.
• no one owns anything, that everything is an illusion-and that applies to material as well as spiritual things.
• it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.
• I can choose to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life.
• I spend all day...longing for work to begin, and when I'm working, longing to get back to the boarding house. In other words, I'm living the future not the present.
• If I can walk on my own, I can go wherever I like.
• life is a fast, dizzying game...it's taking chances, falling over and getting up again...it's wanting to get to the very top of yourself and to feel angry and dissatisfied when you don't manage it.
• If I... had suddenly woken up on a roller coaster...I would feel trapped and sick, terrified of every bend...However, if I believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine, then the nightmare becomes something thrilling...which will eventually stop, but while the journey lasts, I must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement.
• Yes, perhaps love really could transform someone, but despair did the job more quickly.
• That's what the world is like: people talk as if they knew everything, but if you dare to ask a question, they don't know anything.
• A man doesn't prove he's a man by getting an erection. He's only a real man if he can pleasure a woman. And if he can pleasure a prostitute, he'll think he's the best lover on the block.
• Eleven minutes. The world revolved around something that only took eleven minutes...and yet when they got together with other men, contrary to popular belief, they never talked about women. They talked about jobs, money and sport.
• The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.
• we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.
• That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
• Passion...it's there in the excitement of the unexpected, in the desire to do something with real fervor, in the cetainty that one is going to realize a dream.
• The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.
• I want you however you want to be wanted
• When desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.
• It's true that we only know each other when we come up against our own limits, but it's wrong too, because it isn't necessary to know everything about ourselves; human beings weren't made solely to go in search of wisdom, but also to plough the land, wait for rain, plant the wheat, harvest the grain, make the bread.
• In order to master the soul, one must also learn to master the body.
• I felt that pain is a woman's friend...That is the danger. I also felt that pain has it's limits...That is the salvation.
• Pain is frightening when it shows its real face but it's seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self-denial.
• However much we may reject it, we human beings always find a way of being with pain, of flirting with it and making it part of our lives.
• True, no one wants to suffer, and yet nearly everyone seeks out pain and sacrifice, and then they feel justified, pure, deserving of the respect of their children, husbands, neighbors, God.
• Money! A special piece of paper, decorated in sombre colors which everyone agreed was worth something-and she believed it, everyone believed it-until you take a pile of that paper to a bank, a respectable, traditional, highly confidential Swiss bank and asked: "Could I buy back a few hours of my life?" "No, madam, we don't sell, we only buy."
• It wasn't eleven minutes, it was an eternity. It was as if we had both left our bodies and were walking joyfully through the gardens of paradise in understanding and friendship.
• I don't know how long it lasted, but everything seemed to be silent, at prayer, as if the universe and life had ceased to exist and become transformed into something sacred, nameless, timeless.